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Criticism | Contempt | Defensiveness | Stonewalling

I truly appreciate the work of Dr. John Gottman and the Gottman Institute.  They’ve been studying relationships for decades and have an exceptional research model they use in their “Love Lab” in Seattle.  Their books are full of well-researched, proven suggestions for marriages and relationships.  I refer to the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work often in both my personal and professional life.  I advise most people I know in relationships to keep a copy nearby.

Criticism | Contempt | Defensiveness | Stonewalling

When any of Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” make an appearance in a relationship, it can be difficult to have healthy interactions.  If all four are present, there is a significant chance the relationship won’t survive, at least not without help.  Guard yourself, and your relationship, against these pitfalls.  If you notice them creeping in – recognize them and work toward better solutions.  You can’t change your partner, but you can change you.  If you can’t do that, it may be time to consider outside support.

Criticism | Contempt | Defensiveness | Stonewalling

For more information on the Four Horsemen, check out this brief video on the Gottman Institute’s website, or pick up a copy of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.